Dating older men and advice passive agressive behavior in dating
I’ve heard so many different rules about dating someone older, and they all boil down to a magic number: “Don’t date anyone more than ten years older,” or “Marriages never work if there’s more than fifteen years’ difference.” People love rules, telling themselves that abiding by them will cause them to get hurt less. The most important rule to follow is a general one: Make sure the two of you have the same goals for the relationship and for your daily life together. Think about whether you want to get married; have a big or tiny wedding; have children; be with someone who already has kids; live in the future in the same town or city where you’ve been dating; move somewhere far or close; have extended family very involved or not very involved in your life; have a relationship where you socialize almost always together or often; have a partner who’s more of a social butterfly or homebody; and have a partner who is very involved or not very involved in extracurricular activities. Psychological Age You’ve probably heard someone say, “He seems young for his age,” or “She’s so young at heart.” Though we all have a chronological age, we also have what I refer to as a ‘psychological age.’ How old do you feel, for example? In addition, ask yourself what the psychological age is of your prospective older partner. Again, use those early months of a relationship to gauge whether your sexualities are congruent enough. Don’t embrace any rigid rule about age differences. Don’t be fooled into thinking that just because someone is older, he or she isn’t very sexual. Rather than asking him or her such questions directly, lay low and gather your information over time. If you answer these questions honestly, you’ll have gobs of good information as you try to determine whether a long-term relationship with the older individual could work well.The older man might feel he has an improved “stud-like” status and the woman may feel she has established herself at a higher level.OK, she might be classed as a gold digger, but it’s an accepted and well-trodden path. In my dating life, prior to marrying my husband, I was always attracted to and dated older men.Are you always up for something fun and spontaneous?Do you like to feel the occasional rush of adrenaline and stimulation?
Consider a list of activities that fall on the hedonistic end of the behavioral spectrum: drinking alcohol, gambling, shopping, traveling, and spending, for example.Today, there is a whole genre of “Daddy Chasers” that shows there is an aesthetic appeal toward older guys (and the fantasies that revolve around them).Well I had the opportunity to do so, but it just didn’t sit right for me and my personal choices at the time.What does he talk about regarding his career; what are his long-term plans?These have a lot to do with whether he is willing to commit.